Flower of Scotland

Historic night with surfmuppet’s Celtic cousins in Scotland deciding on their own independent state or to remain forever the lackeys of their English overlords.

Things in the surfmuppet world have been in a whirl since returning to the fatal shore six weeks ago. Mrs surfmuppet is living on painkillers for the pain of a double compression fracture  in the backbone while manning the support boat in the Galway Bay annual slogathon. She’s busy brooding about suing the Galway Hospital for getting the diagnosis wrong  – told her she was all right, go home and take a panadol and stay away from boats.

“Ah sure, you’ll be grand”, the discharging Doctor told her in that inimitable Irish way. It was probably one of the porters standing in for the real doc who was off down the  town quaffing pints of black on his or her extended lunch break.

Great news at the end of northern European swimming season with the Vladsters storming the English Channel, eleven out of eleven for the squaddies of the ABC and Vic Park Pool. The role of honour below courtesy of Coach Charm. Surfmuppet witnessed at first hand, mostly while bludging in the shallow end of the pool, the torturous training schedule this lot put in over the last couple of years. Fair fucks to them, says he.

Vlad swimmers results for English Channel 2014

2nd July – Cae Tolman 13:09
2nd July – Ben Hutt. 13:17
3rd July – Miles Tolman. 15:20
8th July – Michael Teys. 11:22
4th August – Lawrence Stubbs. 13:55
5th August – Daniel Boardman. 11:24
20th August – Scott Miers. 9:59
20th August – Cyril Baldock. 12:45
31st August – Greg Shein. 9:18
15th September – Justin Hanby. 11:47
15th September – Rachael Elkaim. 13:01

Swim training is not going overly well despite the old Hornsby pool being reincarnated into a brand new fifty metre one just up the road. Self training just doesn’t cut it for this pull buoy. Was in there the other night after work doing the following set.

600m FS warmup, 600m PB, 600m PB and Paddles, then 100, 200, 300, 200, 100m set, then fart around with the rest of the toys ala kick board, flippers, middle of the forehead wanker snorkel thingamajiggy yoke. Anyway, was just putting on the latter when the lifeguard rudely interrupted to tell SM to exit the pool and it was only 730pm, and the place doesn’t officially close until 745. It was only after the yer man threatened SM with the giant vacuum cleaner and a life time ban that it was time to beat a semi dignified retreat to the change sheds.

Skater girl arrived down from Byron Bay on Saturday looking for her father to make good on the deal to buy her a car despite not having passed the test yet. The deal was struck a year ago after she fell off her motorbike on the second day of the training course and fractured her wrist. SM promised that if she gave the motorbike dream the flick and learn to drive he’d stand her a car. Backstory to circa 2008/9 when she 16 and SM tries to teach her to drive. She was going through her vegan, eco-warrior, “cars are the tools of enviroNazi’s, I’m never ever going to learn to drive and you’re not going to make me!” phase. Begged her but no.

Five years on, she needs one to get around, especially for trips to the butcher shop as she’s now a full blooded carnivore. Fatherly lecture in the car back from the airport as she weaves through the traffic with her “L’s” front and back. “Wait until you get the license, then I’ll buy the car”.

Ah, how a daughter can manipulate a father.

The saga ends up on Monday night with SM haggling with a Chinese lady on the side of a dark suburban street in Beecroft over the price of her 2001 Mazda, 120K on the clock, rego good til next May. Not a bad deal for $1,750. Skater girl contributes in the background by wondering what name she’ll give her new chariot. She flies back to Byron on the Tuesday with instructions for her father to collect the car off the nice Chinese lady on Saturday, drive the 9 hours to Byron that day and fly back to Sydney on Sunday.

Wonder if there’ll be time to fit in a swim before coming back? Byron had it’s first shark fatality in yonks last week when a great white took out a poor chap who was swimming along in his black wetsuit and flippers, aka a seal suit.

Onwards and Upwards, Oh Flower of Scotland!

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2 Responses to Flower of Scotland

  1. Will the Flower of Scotland bloom? Not sure but amazing to be here and be part of it all.
    Amazing results for your squad. Do you still have the fever?

  2. worldpools says:

    Hey SM, long time no swim together brother!
    Sorry to hear about Mrs SM’s injury.

    Interesting that you have confessed to being a “Pull Boy” I slowed down after my grandmother warned me of imminent danger to my sight.

    My advice is to forget solo training, Its impossible. You may get one or even two good sessions in and then you will revert to bobbing around in lane one like a freshly returned Channel Swimmer looking for someone to talk to.
    Get your white arse back to the ABC family where we know how to humiliate each other into getting fit.

    In case you missed it team Vlad are all back from international sojourns and are preparing to begin training for Rottnest. Get in now mate for a boat and accommodation.

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